Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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AND THE GAME BEGINS ANEW!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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mexicans fishing

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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why was 6 afraid of 9? cause thats just gross.

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No your aunties a joke

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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