An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

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What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

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Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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