A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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Kys

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops