A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

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Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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yo mamas so poor she should probably consider finding a job

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

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What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

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What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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