A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

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Womens basketball

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what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

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Screw it you write the joke.

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops