- Anti Joke

If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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How did the terrorist die? He flew a plane into a twin tower

Democracy.

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

Why was the hasidic so stupid? He wasn't. He died in the holocaust.

why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

Women's rights

What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

Boob

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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