What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

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A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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