What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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a jewish man walks into a wall with an erection. what hits first? his erection

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

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what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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What's 9+ 10?! 19

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Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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