dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

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What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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