Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

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Black people.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

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Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

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=3

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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What do you call man who travels on foot? a pedestrian

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Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

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why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

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What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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