Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

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A muslim walks through a medal detector before the entrance of the airport terminal. The alarm goes off and he is arrested by TSA officials, they open his jacket and find 30lbs of high explosives.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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