Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

Raveena Thandhan

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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