"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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