What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What are annoying? Ads.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

That's about as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops