Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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On the dora show when they asked where the Monster was why did the arrow point left instead of right?? Because it was scared

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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The Labour Party.

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Women's rights

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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Romeo and Juliet both die at the end of the book. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHA i just screwed you guys over.

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Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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knock knock who's there? penis in penis in who? penis in you

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

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whats worse than the holocost, nothing

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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