How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

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a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

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What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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A black person dies.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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why did the man drop his razor? he had a seizure.

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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Friends are like snow; they disappear when you pee on them.

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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