who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What's red and a cow? Red cow

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What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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Corn Muffins

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

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Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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