What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

The WNBA.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

Yo mamas so fat she is obese

How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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