why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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i just wrote this so hard

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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