Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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Why did the little boy fall of his bike? He was dead.

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If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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