Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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What's worse than a joke. ONE TOLD BY FOK.

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops