Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

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Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To achieve his goal on the other side of the road. Being a chicken he is not aware of the arm a fast traveling motor vehicle can bring to him.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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