A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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knock,knock you suck

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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What word is 7 letters long, is composed of the letters N,G,G,E,R, and S, and stands for a group of people who annoy the crap out of you? NAGGERS.

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

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What do you call a Mexican without any arms or legs? A bean.

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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