What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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Justin Bieber

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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