What did the mentally retarded kid get in his iq test drewl

What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To achieve his goal on the other side of the road. Being a chicken he is not aware of the arm a fast traveling motor vehicle can bring to him.

YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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