What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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No!

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why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I drive a 'rarri

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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