What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops