ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

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Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

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What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

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The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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