What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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Major League Soccer

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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Q; How did the blind man cross the road? A; very unsuccessfully leaving behind memories of his joys but soon forgotten smile

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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