What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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