How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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