How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo

Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

Illumati Confirmed

NASCAR

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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