What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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kkkk

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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