What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Emily Walker.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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Your girlfriend.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops