What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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K

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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