What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

Dude, i know this guy, who knew this guy named Ben, who knew this guy named Valen, who knew this guy named Chad and he said.... Ben's Dead.

An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

What do an Eagle and a sugar cube have in common? The fact that if let to disintegrate they both turn slowly to hydrogen after a period of time.

Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

It's porn, we all knew that, do you have something interesting to say?

A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

c-? men, C-men

What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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