Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

thumb_up thumb_down -15

It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Women's Professional _________

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

ecks! why zee?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Poker? I barely even know her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops