nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

Your Mum is soo fat.

What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

What is funnier than 24 69

How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

Roses are red, Violets are purple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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