Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A van drives into a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

thumb_up thumb_down +11

LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

thumb_up thumb_down +11

haha

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Kobe Bryant passing the ball

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops