when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

TIMMY

Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

A. Where was Sally during the boston marathon bombing? Q. Everywhere. www.facebook.com/wowedgy

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

What's long and black? A line at KFC.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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