Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hey Shea

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Pianos.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops