A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

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A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

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A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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a chicken walks into a cafe, where it is swiftly caught, killed, plucked ,and served with stuffing and all for £5.99

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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Why should we dislike all the jokes on the Newest Page? Well you should too. >.>

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

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I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops