Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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