What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

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raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops