Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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19 roosters walk into a roller coaster

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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Major League Soccer

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

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A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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