here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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Sloths

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

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A gay man watches football.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops