- Anti Joke

What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is dead. What's worse that that? It's eating it's way out. What's worse than that? It made it. What's worse than that? It went back in for 2nd's.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

I don't believe in giraffes.

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

Nero, sure you are okay?

Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.