A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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Badabing.

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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America. A land where if a girl sexual harrasses a guy would be a good thing.

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Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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