What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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A gay man watches football.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

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Sloths

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

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What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops