a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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aodhan hearty

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Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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whats the diffrents beetween a footballer and a hat nothing i lke chesse

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

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if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Yo momma soo fat, she got diabetes and died

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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