If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

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Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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I have read the terms and conditions

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yes i can connor, this is brett.

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world society

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Robin, get in the batmobile

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

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727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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why did the black person cross the road to get to his lynched sister

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How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops