What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

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Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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