Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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A black guy, a Latino guy and an Asian guy all walk in a bar. What do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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