It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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you give like i give lomain

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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Every Good Boy Deserves Fibromyalgia

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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regoereiorgiorehgijreirehrfjirgjirejgruirehgrghehiiehaoiwpo;lkswpokewqoifgoieqjgiubtfoewfiir K.O

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why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

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Balls

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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