Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

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Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

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what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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:O <===============3 :===========3 :======3 :===3 :3 It all makes sense now.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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Q: What's bad about 4 asians getting shot? A: There could've been five

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Two planes walk into an office building

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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