- Anti Joke

Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

knock knock whos there steve i dont know you go away

What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

Who's cooler than Ellie?? Turtleman hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

Stop driving smart cars you fags

IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops